Rigidity

im fighting against the entire structure of this site. so much fucking time spent making stupid fucking templates so that each post looks polished and nice and identical. like this site is somewhere a respectable programmer would post their personal projects. but now i find myself incapable of and uninterested in writing anything that isn’t stream of consciousness slop.

it doesn’t work.

#include <iostream>
#include <string>

// why did i spend so much time
// dicking around with the code formatting options
// just to write out

std::string part1 = "random shit about random shit";
std::string part2 = " and then delete it 3 seconds later";

I do think it’s interesting in a way. the content of this site and the presentation don’t really match at all and there’s not even enough content on here to be getting so meta and introspective about it.

those last two statements are sorta unrelated
but if i put them side by side i can force it

but you feel the mismatch anyways
like passing over a rail joint

it’s made worse by the fact that people who know me might see this and read this.

can you tell im trying to get the most out of my formatting options?

I can’t pretend to be making whatever it is i think im making when people I know irl will see this and imagine me saying these things and writing these things and apply context that shouldn’t exist.